Monday, February 5, 2018

Expectation Management!



Last year the boys and I used Space a travel to get to the mainland for our Epic Summer Vacation.
The whole process of trying to hop on a free military flight was a bit stressful for me!
Only a 3day window of flights that can change at a moments notice, never sure if you will make the flight, having to be open to multiple destinations was all so crazy.

Jared got us the permission slip to travel without him. The boys and I were finally 'ready' to start trying to win our seats for the mainland. We were open to any spot in CA or WA and would just try to see all we wanted from wherever we landed.
We kept hearing that it was very hard to get the seats and you wouldn't know if you got it or not until after you have arrived and checked in at the terminal with all your luggage.

Rejected you just walk away and try again another day, accepted you hop on that flight and zoom off.

Well, we went to get our names on the list beginning of June. We were so excited!
All smiles at the prospect that sometime this month we would see family and possibly Harry Potter world!
And it was great just being able to find the place and learning how close to our house it was! Boy were we feeling positive about getting our flights!

The ticket agent was not as excited as we were. He looked at our happy faces and probably saw all the hours of frustrated travelers who have been turned away and took it out on the military staff.
He typed us into the system and when I asked him if there was anything else I needed besides the letter, our luggage, & IDs he looked me in the eyes and said "Expectation Management"

"What?"
He repeated with tired patience "Expectation Management"
Uhm, Ok, thanks I said then we left with a bounce in our step and a thrill that we were one step closer to our Epic Summer Vacation!

Turned out we caught our first flight, but it was delayed at least 5 hrs. The trip had its amazing ups and a few downs as many family vacations do. It was a dream summer though and I now know that Space A flights are a way to travel without having to pay for plane tickets, but nothing is truly free and I prefer commercial travel!

Back to Expectation Management.

I think of that phrase often.

This weekend I was pondering over anxiety and the pressure we put on ourselves. How do we overcome the strain we place upon ourselves that no one else can see? How do we meet our responsibilities when we wrap our mind up in failure? How do we help others when they struggle with thoughts and feelings we can't see or even know they are struggling with because all we see  is the outside, what they allow us to see?

This quote from Thomas S. Monson is excellent:

"Sometimes...you feel inadequate and ineffective because you can't do all that you feel you should. Rather than continually dwelling on what still needs to be done, pause occasionally and reflect on all that you do and have done. It is most significant"

So true! How often do we make the laundry lists of didn't, supposed to, could have, should have, failed to, if only?
When all along, when we were making mistakes, we were also doing good things, accomplishing goals, meeting responsibilities?

We have expectations that we put on ourselves, on our loved ones, on ideas, on goals, on life.
Sometimes its easy to think that all those expectations need to be met and they become our reality. And when life doesn't meet our 'reality' we feel disappointed, anxiety, like we failed or someone else failed.

So Expectation Management.
Readjust the focus of our thoughts. Don't let perceived notions become our personal failures because that can hold us back on the true joys and successes of life.

Sunday, February 4, 2018

Long Time No Post!

No post entries since April 2012...almost 6 years!

A lifetime has happened and I wish I would have kept up with online journaling. Changes to habits and things fall out of life for sure.

 The biggest changes that led to me not updating my blog:
No longer enrolled in Online college. I wasn't at my computer weekly writing papers anymore.
 My husband no longer on sea duty. I wasn't at my computer emailing my love anymore.
I started working outside the home. My schedule changed dramatically.

 All good things, but I didn't trade my online journal with an alternative one...other than FB posts but those didn't save memories like my blog posts did! I can't go back and change but I can try to write more. I type much faster than I write, and the computer/internet is much more organized than I am in terms of keeping things in one place and readily accessible. Over the years I've started about a hundred journals/diaries/notebooks lol

 Anyway, life is a dream and we have been blessed.
 In my blogging pause I worked as a Shift Lead in our little towns Blockbuster Video and did some office work at a Fire Station. After a few months of that I started working as a Paraprofessional at the elementary school my Luke attended as a 4th grader. I worked there for 2 years with some fabulous school teachers, staff and amazing students! I started running and even participated in the Seattle Half Marathon. I didn't garden or can as much as I did in the past but made sure we were growing something outside.

All the pigs and chickens from the 2012 post were eventually butchered. We even raised some sheep which we paid to have butchered. We had ducks for a season (raccoons took them out eventually) they were Luke's 10th birthday present pets!

Jared fully enjoyed his time on shore duty. He did so many home improvements on our home and with the property! He built furniture and even made a small rowboat with the boys. He was able to be a Boy Scout leader and attend to many scouting activities with our Rich.

Luke 'graduated' from the elementary school he started in. Rich survived middle school and began high school, seminary, and our church's teen youth program. We had 3 excellent years of Shore Duty after 5 long years of Sea Duty.
Amazingly we were able to live in our home in WA for 8 years!
Pretty amazing considering my husband is active duty military!

 Change is hard but necessary for growth.

 My husband received orders for Pearl Harbor HI, Sea Duty orders.
We readied our home, set up the move, and found renters for our house.
We arrived on Oahu June 24th 2014.
We lived in the Navy Lodge for a month before moving into a 2-story duplex in Navy housing (off base), Honolulu was officially our new home!

 The day we moved in was the day the boys registered for school and they stared 6th & 10th grade 3 days later.
9 days after move in Jared deployed for 7 months.
Within a month of starting school the boys were being homeschooled, the transition to a new place, new school, Jared's new job after living in our last area for so long was pretty hard.
 We decided before the move I wouldn't work in HI since Jared's new job would make him pretty busy, and teenagers need a lot of love and patience.
What a blessing it was to work when I did in WA, but also being able to transition back to a Stay-at-Home Mom again!

Homeschooling was hard, an adventure, and sometimes pretty cool.
We took field trips, had beach days, signed up for sports and music lessons, spent everyday together, and even got in some book learning haha.
 We homeschooled for one school year, but it wasn't a longterm good fit for our family.
Our new church ward was a lifesaver and the people in it huge blessings!

 The boys started school the next year and Jared surprised (bribed) them with a dog brother for Thor, hello Odin the Ridgeback mutt.
 Richard got a job at the Hickam Commissary, graduated seminary, and graduated High School. School was a struggle, but he fought through it and was successful!
He later got a job at Subway before leaving on a 2-year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints a few months after he turned 18.
 Luke began playing the Cello in 7th grade and now is in his 3rd year of orchestra. He has a natural talent for music and its fun to hear him playing the cello, the ukulele, and the guitar. He is now in High School, teen youth program, and seminary. He can't wait till he can apply at the commissary like his Bro did.

We went through 2 renters with our WA home and eventually sold it after months of stress and worry over it. Selling it was hard since we put so much time, heart, memories, and time into it.
But when it sold it was a big relief and a blessing!

The summer after Richards high school graduation and before he turned 18 I took the boys on a trip to the mainland for our "Epic Summer Vacation!" It was an amazing 30day trip with my 2 boys. We flew 6177 miles, drove 3100 miles, went through 9 states in 3 different cars, 4 plane rides--one being our first ever SpaceA, 3 hotels, 6 friend/family homes, went to church in 3 states, the Grand Canyon, 3 theme parks (including Harry Potter world!) and got to visit both sets of grandparents, 13 of the 16 Aunts & Uncles, and many cousins from both sides as well as some great friends. AMAZING!

 Our Jared made Chief right after we came home from our Epic Summer Vacation and we tried for another duty station, but received orders for 2 more years of sea duty in Pearl Harbor.
But the promotion made us eligible for a single family home in a beautiful historic neighborhood. The move to the new house was fast, just 17 days from when we found out to actual move in!

 And so...here we are in 2018!

Richard is now in the field of his Online Proselytizing mission in SLC.
Jared has started his new job and learning so much and is Busy.
Luke is dabbling in skateboarding, music, and turning the extra bedroom into a Man Cave.
I'm now healing from a hysterectomy and have begun to try container gardening in our new home.

 We have a few more years on this amazing Island.
The recent changes feel almost as big as they did that summer of 2014 when we first arrived here.

I've thought about this blog many times over the years, and FB memories remind me of different posts I'd made. Time is a tricky thing. I love all the posts I've made in the past, little snapshots into the life of my family. We have all experienced and grown in the last 6 years and I wish I had more windows into our experiences over that time! So, after fighting my computer and the website to find what emails I used in the past and finding my passwords I'm here and will try to make time to jot things down :0)